Time is flying and they are having fun!

They are just growing up too fast! Tonight, Abigale is at the corn maze with a new friend she made. Part of me is ecstatic that she made a new friend that lives close by. But most of me is sad that she is out with friends on this Friday evening. The dad that is taking them, asked me if it was OK with me if the girls went off on their own. I wanted to scream, "No, don't take your eyes off her!" But, instead, I said, "Sure, as long as she is always with a friend, she doesn't have to stay with the parents the whole time."

I get inside, settle in coloring with Hannah when the phone rings. It's a lady named Heather saying she is Caris' mother. Apparently, Caris is a little girl in Hannah's Kindergarten class and she hasn't stopped talking aobut Hannah since school started. They want her to come over for a play date tomorrow. NOOOOOOOOOOOO! Play dates are just the beginning. Pretty soon she will be off to corn mazes, then dates, then college, then her own family. I know this is completely irrational thinking and that these are normal, healthy experiences necessary for becoming a well-rounded, contributing member of society. But they are my babies. They lived inside of me for 9 (really 10) months! A part of me wants to lock them in their rooms and throw away the key. But that would be selfish and in the end wouldn't do anyone any good. The world needs them and all they have to offer. It is my job to prepare them, but that doesn't mean I have to like it.

I think from now on, at least until they go off to college, I am going to declare that Sundays are Family Days. They can go off with their friends on Friday and Saturday, but Sunday is our time. :)

Quality of life...

Quality of life. This means different things to different people. Some people will forego a big house for a short commute, others will drive an obsurd distance to have their dream home. Some people have a two-income household and put their children in daycare while others live on one income so their children are home with them. There really is no right or wrong answer because everyone has to decide for themselves what quality of life means to them.

I like to work. I like the feeling I get when colloborating with collegeaus to invent a new system or come up with a new marketing piece. On the other hand, I LOVE being a mom. I relish the time I spend with my girls and try to make our time full of fun, love and things that are bound to be part of their wonderful childhood memories. Because I like to work and work for a small company that often demands a lot of my time, I constantly feel like I am being torn in different directions. I feel guilty because I like working and like the contributions that I make to my company. And, on the days that I do sneak home early to surprise the family, I feel guilt again that I am not at work taking care of the zillions of tasks that need to be done.

For me, spending 3-4 hours a day in my car is like throwing money out the window. My time is so valuable and the time I spend just sitting in a car is time I could be with my girls or finishing up a project at work. How is this a quality life? The guilt, the wasted hours, the working my ass off to just barely make ends meet. There has got to be something bigger and better than this. I can't except that this is my life for the next two decades while I raise a family.

To be continued...

Smile...It's picture day!

When you work for a school photography company, everyday is picture day. So often, we have to remind ourselves that even though we think about picture day every single day, the schools we service only think about it a couple of times a year.

Well, today was one of those times at my daughter's school. Hannah is in Kindergarten at a school we just acciqured. It was a very unique experience to be at the school setting up equipment, numbering barcodes and getting everything ready for the kids when I knew that our first customers would be my own daughter's class. Not only was I there as a photographer's assistant, I was there as a mom. A proud mom of a Kindergartener. I experience picture day everyday, but this was her very FIRST picture day. Her teacher knew I was there and so she called Hannah out first. She got to be first! It is a true honor to go first because you get to hold the sign that tells us what class you are in and make a silly face. Then, we take the real thing.

It was amazing how quickly I turned into an assistant, instead of being her mom. I posed her up just as I would any other kid, but I BEAMED with pride when she flashed her precious, toothless grin. She did great and I was there. Not as the overbearing, overprotective mom, but as the help.

Tomorrow I will go to another school and I will go through the exact same routine, with more Kindergarteners having their first picture day. But, I will never forget today because I got to do what I love most, being a mom, while I was on the job.