Maybe this week will be better!

Last week was a rough week. I was busy with work, volunteered at Hannah's Valentine's Day class party, got my hair cut/colored, went out to dinner with my parents, and dealt with the evil shenanigans of my two little darlings.


Abby got her iPod taken away in gym for looking at pictures. She then proceeded to text me on her phone to tell me about it. So, when daddy went into the office to get her iPod back, the secretary wanted to know how he knew about it. He said that Abby had texted me and they said that was another violation and that they would be disciplining her in school. Before she left, her grade Principal told her she would see her in her office on Tuesday morning (Monday is President’s Day) and Abby is petrified that she will get ISS (In School Suspension). I’m just glad this is one punishment I don’t have to dish out at home.

Hannah is a different story. Her bad deeds were done at home so they must be dealt with at home. The short version is she stole a dollar from her sister and then lied about it when she got caught. So, she had to miss Parent’s Night Out at her gym and Abigale and I kept our date and went to dinner and the movies without her. Yes, I almost gave in and let Hannah come, but I didn’t. I am hoping that next time she is tempted to lie or steal that she will realize there are consequences for her actions. At the very least she needs to know that once she is caught, she is caught. Don’t lie, don’t try to worm your way out of it. Admit what you did and take your punishment…We’ll see.

And, the real annoying thing is that entire blog had to be written in Word and then copied and pasted into Blogger. I couldn’t get Blogger to work. There was like 20 seconds lag time in what I was writing. If blogging becomes too much of an effort, I won’t do it…

New Hairdos

Will You Marry Me?

Hannah came home today and told me that a boy at school told her a secret and that she promised not to tell anyone.  I asked her what it was and she said she couldn't tell me.  I dropped it because I know my girl and I knew she wouldn't be able to hold it in for too long. 

About an hour later, she muted the TV and said we needed to talk.  I closed my laptop and gave her my full attention.  She said, "How do you ask someone out?"  I said, "You mean, like out as in boyfriend/girlfriend?" And she said yes.  I asked her who the lucky boy was and she revealed that it was the boy who had told her the secret.  I asked if his secret had anything to do with her question and she said yes.  Then she said, "I guess I can tell you because you are my mom.  He whispered to me that he is going to marry me when he grows up and then he ran away.  I didn't have a chance to tell him that we should date first."  Wow.  2nd grade and she is already talking dating and marriage.  I asked her if she liked him or if she was just responding to his secret.  She admitted then that she really just likes him as a friend for now but that after he told her he wanted to marry her she wasn't sure.  So, I told her that if she didn't really like him in that way it would be best to just remain friends.  I also passed along some advice that my dad told me when I was a kid.  I told her that if anyone ever confesses that they like her or ask her out and she doesn't want to be their girlfriend to never ever make fun of them or make them feel silly about revealing their feelings.  I explained that getting up the nerve to ask someone out is hard and that it is OK to not feel the same way but to never make them feel like an idiot for having those feelings.

Will they wind up boyfriend and girlfriend?  Who knows?  I think the best part is that she talked to me about it and really values my opinion.  It made me so happy that she trusted me enough to talk about something that she was confused and nervous about.  But, I will admit when she revealed that a boy that liked her last year pulled down his pants on the bus to show her his underwear and that they were Star Wars and the light sabers covered his private part, I was left wishing she had kept that tid-bit to herself.  Lord only knows what else she hasn't told!

Hard Day

Lately, Abigale and I have been arguing...a lot.  I am disappointed in her grades and her overall bad attitude.  I have always only expected her best and I don't feel like she is giving her best at school.  I could tolerate the bad attitude if she was giving her school work the attention it deserves, but she isn't.  So, that makes the bad attitude even harder to tolerate.  Sure, I have a good reason to be upset with her and she needs to know that the grades she has are not acceptable. And I am her mother, so it is my job to discipline her and guide her through these tumultuous years.

The problem is, I forgot something that is even more important than discipline and guidance.  Love.  Tonight Abby and I were watching TV and she looked at me and said, "Mom, do you hate me?"  I said, "Of course, not. I love you.  You know that."  She said, "No mom, I don't.  All you have done is yell at me all week and I don't think you like me anymore."  My heart sank.  She was right.  All I had done was tell her how disappointed I was and how she had 2 weeks to bring up her grades or she would lose all her privileges and how she didn't care about anything but herself and her friends.  Never once did I tell her that I loved her.  Never once did I show her any compassion.  Never once did I think about what it is like to be 13 living in a new city and going to a new school. 

And, on top of all that, she has a cute, little sister that is 8 years old and very easy to love and be around (at this moment) and all she sees is that we have fun with Hannah and shower her with love.  In her mind, all we feel for her is disappointment and all we feel for her sister is pride and love.  I tried to explain that they are just different ages and that we don't have the challenges with Hannah that we have with her because Hannah is only 8, but I'm not sure I convinced her.  We talked for a while and she is now happily chatting with her friend on the phone, but I am still smothered in guilt and absolutely determined to make things right again.

You can bet that a lot of Mommy-Abby time is in our future.  I will continue to get on her case when necessary, but I will also make sure to point out all of the positive as well.  And, there are A LOT of positives.

Abby & Me

Lessons Learned

When Hannah was little (really up until she was about 7) she had a record of lying and so we worked on teaching her to always tell the truth.  Over the past year or two I have seen a significant improvement and she now understands why lying is wrong and that it usually is best to just go ahead and tell the truth up front or pay much worse consequences later.

So, the other night Jay drove her to gymnastics classes and then afterwards got her some tacos from Taco Bell for her dinner.  Abby got bummed that I made her a frozen pizza for dinner instead of taking her out for fast food and since Jay knows his daughter so well he asked Hannah not to mention it to Abby that he had gotten her tacos or she would throw a fit.  Well, after they got home, Hannah asked me what Abby and I had for dinner and I told her.  Then, I asked her if she had eaten anything and she said, "No.  Why are you asking me that?"  I said I was just wondering and asked if she wanted me to fix her something and she declined.

About an hour later Hannah asked me if I could get her a bowl of cereal, but she whispered it to me so Jay wouldn't hear.  I said sure and got up to get it.  She told me not to let daddy know and I said that Daddy wasn't going to be mad that I was getting her a bowl of cereal for dinner, especially since it was 8:00 and she hadn't eaten anything for dinner.  After she eats her cereal, she comes over with worry all over her face and says, "Mom, I need to tell you something but you can't tell daddy. I did eat dinner earlier because he got me tacos and that is why I didn't want him to see me eating again."  I said, "Why didn't you tell me the truth in the first place?" And she said, "Well, daddy told me not to tell Abby because he didn't want Abby to get mad and when you asked me if I had eaten she was in the room."  I told her thank you for telling me the truth and that I understood why she did it and that it was important to keep a secret like that and that Daddy was right, Abby would have gotten so mad. 

What a pickle my little lady found herself in and I am so glad she worked it out in her head and told me the truth.  Sometimes doing the right thing is hard.

Hannah & Sammy

Love her angelic face :)

60 Pounds...

Most people don't know that I have been working at losing weight since June.  I was diagnosed with Hashimoto's Disease in May of 2009, which basically means my body attacks my thyroid.  I knew something was wrong from the time I was pregnant with Hannah in 2003 when I kept gaining large amounts of weight each month even though I was eating healthy and keeping a food journal.  Everyone blew me off and just assumed I was lying about the food I was eating, even though I had maintained a healthy weight for years before the pregnancy.  From the time Hannah was born in December of 2003 until May of 2009 I tried on and off to lose weight.  No matter what I did, I could not lose weight.  I did tell my doctor about it a few times and she just told me to go to a dietitian or nutritionist and never took my complaints seriously.  Over those 5 years I gained 85 unexplained pounds. 

Then, in April of 2009 I went on Slim Fast and followed it to a tee for three weeks.  The whole family was supportive with eating a healthy meal each night for my one meal of the day and Abigale was my "coach" for exercising.  I didn't weigh the whole three weeks and when I finally did weigh I had the whole family around me for the big moment.  I gained 3 pounds.  Devastated doesn't even begin to explain how I felt.  Embarrassed, angry, confused, and defeated also topped the list of my emotions in that moment.  I made an appointment with my doctor and went to see her the next day.  I absolutely insisted that she run tests to find out what was wrong with me.  I was emotional and angry and she told me that she was very sorry she hadn't listened to me earlier and that she could see now that there really was an underlying problem.

A few days later we had the answer, Hashimoto's Disease.  This meant that I had NO metabolism and that in order to maintain my weight I would need to be on a vigorous diet plan and exercise a minimum of an hour, 4 days a week, and losing weight was basically impossible.  The good news was that although there is no cure, there is effective treatment and that now that we knew the problem, I would one day be able to lose weight.  The bad news was that they had to start me out on a very low dosage of the medicine and check my blood every three months.  If my blood work showed that my thyroid was still off then they would increase the dosage and retest in another 3 months.  This process went on for 22 months and during that time period I gained another 60 pounds. Until March of 2011 when I stepped on the scale and had actually lost 3 pounds.  We were sure that the medication was finally at the right levels and the blood test results confirmed it.  From the time I had suspected a problem and the diagnosis I had gained 145 pounds.

It took me a few months (we moved to Houston and I began the launch of my new magazine) but I finally started dieting and exercising in June of 2011.  Atkins is my diet of choice just because it is easy and allows me to eat until I am full.  During the summer months I swam laps every day at our neighborhood pool and then when the pool closed in the fall I began working out on the Wii.  At first I thought it would be lame, but I was so wrong.  It tracks my progress, gives me an awesome work-out and I have lost 60 pounds as a result.  I still have a long way to go and haven't even told most folks that I am dieting, but if you read this blog then now you know.  Someday I will post pictures, but I have a little more to lose before that happens.  Stay tuned!

I hate going through school again!

My second grader is not thriving in school right now.  She has horrendous handwriting, and I mean absolutely atrocious.  She can spell when she applies herself, but often she rushes and makes silly mistakes.  And, for some reason, I cannot get this child to learn her math facts.  We do math drills every night, I make up problems for her, I have printed worksheets from online and time her on those. I have drawn pictures, showed her how to count on her fingers (as a last resort) efficiently and quickly, and no matter what I try she doesn't memorize her math facts.  She gets how to regroup and how to borrow, but she gets the wrong answer because she doesn't know her basic math facts.  We wind up fighting every night and it brings back memories of me and my dad fighting at the kitchen table over fractions, but that's a whole other tangent. This kid is bright, she has always excelled academically, and so I just don't know how to break it down for her any further. 

But let's not forget Abigale.  She is a very solid A-B student, except in math.  She has always hated math, even though she eventually winds up getting it enough to at least squeak out a C on her report card. Well, now that she is in middle school I can no longer help her with her homework and even if I could there is absolutely no way that would ever happen.  We only see her for brief minutes at a time and usually there is a meal involved.  Anyways, she has always gotten a C, until this year. We have six, six week grading periods here and so far she has gotten an F for the first 3 grading periods.  We are now half way through the 4th grading period and she currently has an F. She does test retakes, attends tutoring sessions after school, has gone for various amounts of time grounded, and no matter what we/she tries, she winds up with another F.  If she doesn't somehow miraculously pass the last two quarters with high grades AND pass the overall math exam at the end of the year, then she is going to fail 8th grade math .  I guess that means summer school is in her future and I have no clue how she is going to get through Algebra next year. Goodbye summer vacation plans, hello summer school.

I hate going through school again. :(  Stay tuned...

What do you mean, high school?

That's right, Abigale starts high school next year!  Don't ask me where the time went or how she made it through middle school in lightening speed.  Some how, some way, she is going to high school next year.  Reality hit hard when she came home this week and told me we had to pick all of her classes by next Thursday!  This isn't something to be taken lightly, I mean what she takes as a Freshman will dictate her whole high school career.

So, we spent the week talking about foreign languages, science vs. math, which sport to play, and when to use up the two Study Hall credits she can use during her four year journey.  Monday night she and I will head over to the high school for an orientation and then all she has to do is finish up the 8th grade.  Then, in 6 months she starts high school, 2 years she will be driving, and in 4 years off to college she will go.  My baby is growing up.

Finally Friday!

This has been a rough week.  I knew it was going to be hard because it was my first week back to work after Christmas break and I have to wrap up my February deadline which is always a pain.  But I never could have anticipated the other random bad things that were going to happen. Here's the list:

• One of my good friends lost her husband this week to suicide.
• Abigale dislocated her shoulder playing dodge ball and is now in a sling for a few days and then off to the Orthopedic Surgeon she goes.
• Hannah woke up this morning with a terrible stomach bug.  Poor baby puked 5 times before she was even supposed to leave for school.
• Out of the 8 appointments I had set for this week, 5 were no shows, 1 had me give the presentation standing in their lobby and the other two weren't the true decision makers so I got no decision. Lovely.

Today is the day my friend will bury her husband.  This will be a hard day for her.  When my mom died my dad called the funeral "the show".  I'm sure she will feel the same way, everyone whispering about how he killed himself and some of them there just to gawk and "get the scoop".  I hope they remember that funerals are for the living, not the dead.  Be there for my friend, help her, support her, show her that you care.

This weekend I will hug my girls and my husband a little tighter and count my blessings.  Next week can only get better, right?

And, Once Again I Am Reminded of How Short Life Truly Is

I got the worst news today.  One of my very best friend's lost her husband this week.  That is terrible enough on its own, but the worst part is he hung himself.  He called her and told her he was going to do it and by the time the police got there, he was gone.  My friend is still in shock, but she is already feeling the anger and guilt that comes along with such an enormous tragedy. 

To compound this tragedy, her baby sister has cancer.  She has been battling cancer for years and days before her husband took his own life they found out her sister's cancer has spread to her brain.  So, this 30 year old woman who is full of life and fighting for her every breath has just been given a much higher mountain to climb, while another person thought so little of his life that he ended it himself.

We just take so much for granted.  I mean if my friend's sister can get cancer in her 20's then none of us are in the clear, yet we take so much for granted.  We take people, time, and love for granted.  As much as we like to think we are in control, at a moment's notice it can all be gone.

Texas Snowman

This week was one of my company's National Conferences so I traveled to Dallas and was away from my family for two nights.  Well, that definitely qualified as an out-of-town business trip, so just like my daddy always did for my sister and me, I always like to bring back a little souvenir for my girls.  So, now it is a tradition and an expectation that mommy has a little something for them when I get home and this trip was no different.  Luckily the hotel I stayed in had a gift shop, so I didn't disappoint.

We all like a lot of things about Texas.  But the single biggest thing my girls miss (besides their friends) is the snow.  They loved sledding, building snowmen, and of course snow days off from school.  Here in Houston, we just don't have snow, so that has been a little sad for them this winter.  Well, I found the perfect gift.  A Texas Snowman snow globe.  It is basically a snowman without the snow (see picture below).  Both girls love snow globes, so I knew it would be a big hit.  And, I was right - they both loved it, especially Hannah.  Once she finally got the joke, she thought it was such a clever idea and spent the whole evening whirling it around.  She even carried it with her into the bathroom when she brushed her teeth before bed.

Well, I went to tuck her in and tell her good night and she hid under her covers.  I thought she was being silly at first and started tickling her and teasing her, until I realized her little red eyes had been crying.  I asked her what was wrong and she said that when she had taken the snow globe into the bathroom and set it on the counter it slid into the sink and broke.  She was obviously devastated.  I hugged her and told her how sorry I was that she didn't have the gift anymore and she said, "Mommy, I do miss the snowman but I was just so afraid to tell you I broke your gift, so that is why I cried."  I asked her why she would be afraid to tell me and she said, "Because you picked out the perfect gift and it came from your heart and I felt like when I broke the snow man I broke your heart."  Talk about a tear-jerker.  My heart swelled with love and pride for my little girl's sweet-natured soul and I told her that instead of breaking my heart she had made my it even happier and that I was so proud of her for being brave and telling me what happened.  These are the precious moments that life are all about.